What to Do with My Life

Hi,

It's been a long time since I used the computer. This primary school kiddo from my church finds such behaviour of not using the computer for a long time incredible and out-of-the-world. Anyway, I don't relish the life of being an online addict.

The 'A' level preparation has been a sort-of arduous journey. Even I myself am not sure about how I should feel about it now, though I'm only left with a 2.30 paper later and another one next thursday before I'm done with Cambridge. When I don't feel stressed, does it mean I am well-prepared or apathetic? When I feel otherwise, does it mean I am giving myself excessive pressure or undergoing a coping mechanism of last-minute cramming? 2 years back, the 'O' levels felt quite a breeze, and ironically I was rather bored and didn't study during the exam period. I think the most honest answer, if you ask me 'How's the A's, aye?', is ????????????. That's a dozen question marks.

When the fast-paced, cramming, bookwormish kind of life suddenly becomes invalid next Thursday, will I be at a sudden loss? The loss of a protected environment and the loss of the 'rote-learning' way of life which we ourselves have criticised so much about in essays and small talks - it's inevitable to let some things go. What am I going to do with my life?

One thing for sure, I'm returning as a choir alumnus. Simply can't miss out all the fun from carolling! Also, it's prom shopping with Joyce, Olie, Si and Kenneth for pretty prom dresses after the exams. LOL.

Since I'm not blessed with the opportunity or ability to study overseas, I can only work either at the flea market, where it will be really fun!, the Immigrations HQ, boring but stable job, or as a relief teacher at my alma mater, fun and rather stable. Oh! and a few of us girls might be backpacking to North Thailand. Talk about RURAL TOURISM. Haha. And, we should have a Christmas party and watch Phantom of the Opera together when the troupe comes around next March! : O

I suppose life will be quite exciting after all. : )

What are your plans, ye womenfolk who are spared from conscription?

Whatever you do, bear in mind that you ought to be a constantly shining light of God.

Jesus, in Matthew 5, uses the metaphor 'light of the world' to outline how we Christians should behave. Light is only visible when juxtaposed with darkness (the sinful world), and reminds us of the sharp difference between a believer's thoughts, actions and speech and the world's. This demarcation between what is light and what is dark is always distinct and cannot be blurred. Similarly, we should live by this demarcation of being holy inheritors of the Kingdom, while defending the flame of our spirits against being consumed by the dark.

Also, this metaphor takes on the meaning of having an outward behaviour that is Christian. A candle that is lit is not meant to be concealed, but to 'giveth light'. This parallel to the Christian, who is saved and thus set on the treacherous path to Heaven, underlines the importance of corroboration between the inner spiritual change and outer behavioural transition. How is it possible to claim in church that you are one who loves his brethren and then slander or think bad thoughts about him after that? Is that how a true Christian should be?

No 'if's and no 'but's - if you try to refute the need to exude a Christian life, you are merely giving excuses to hide your wrong. I know of people who do that. They drink and smoke, subjecting the holy vessel of the Master to degradation that is uncalled for. They can do QT and still mock at people after that. Then they give excuses, 'Oh...but it's human nature to be like that', 'I need to destress so I shouldn't restrict myself', or 'Don't be so strict lah!'. Again, it's back to the issue of whether one is WILLING to adhere to that demarcation between the Christian and the world.

Jesus sub-concludes by explaining the rationale of using the light metaphor.

'Let your light so shine before men,
so they may see your good works,
and glorify your Father which is in heaven.'

Matthew 5:16

Jesus emphasises on the exuding of Christian qualities for us. Through us, people hard-hearted to the seeds of Gospel or unknowing of it will gain understanding of God, our Heavenly Father. If we appear still as sinful as before, the potency of the Gospel is undermined in the eyes of the world, as only false god cannot bring about a true change in a person. If we remain true to God's instructions and Will, people around us will be able to see the light instead. They will know that God is the true god and should be glorified for bringing about the better change in you.

So, what I want to say is, as the world in our innocent perception becomes increasingly complicated, do not let yourself sink back into the bog. Depend on the Lord for strength and courage for steadfastness, so that you will not enter the Heaven empty-handed when you were purchased by suffering, torture, ridicule and blood. When the day comes for judgment, you can stand 'without spot, blameless' (II Peter 3:14).

Gotta go have my eyebrows plucked and practise on the violin before I leave for E8. See ya.