taking the rap

Work has still been fun after a month proper. Of course there are some unpleasant moments but that definitely cannot discount the overall fun. I'll tell you what happened today while sparing you the notsonecessary details.

I was scolded for doing something wrongly though I probably wasn't the person who started it. I must say that a thought did pass me that I should correct it halfway but I ignored it. So it's kind of messy: you can't put a finger to a single person and say, "Ha! You're the culprit. You're wrong."

For maybe like the next twenty minutes, I felt bullied and unjust. The 'scolder' (lol) didn't know the whole story, neither did I. I wasn't smiley as I washed the dishes, and I swallowed whatever tears that was going to come outttt.

Why was I even taking the rap for something that I might not have done? This is not the first time.

I refused to find out whoever started it, and I still do. Not for fear that the culprit might really end up to be me, but because this 'not me' attitude of the world is so poisonously self-preserving.

Then I saw this string of words appear in my mind: "Friendship is taking the rap."

And I don't have to tell the culprit I am taking his/her rap, because I don't want to find out who in the first place. My motives would be more condemning than redemptive if I did.

As I washed the dishes and swallowed my unhappiness, I became more and more convinced that by taking the rap, it was really good for me and the Kingdom of God. The old, self-preserving Daphne dies (since no one can bully a corpse). The new Daphne's focus is kept on eternity since God will bring all these out on the table again for scrutiny and judgment, and all I do now better be up for that, with the righteousness and spiritual riches Christ has given to me.

Then BAM, this thought came that said, "Jesus also took the rap for all of us working here". I believe Jesus would have done the same if he worked here at my workplace.

In my heart, I asked God for comfort, whether I'm the culprit or not. And I thought it would be nice if Train's Hey Soul Sister came up on the radio since it sounded cheery enough to wash away at least some of my unhappiness.

A minute later, Hey Soul Sister came on.

WOW. God is soooo...I don't know. He made every effort to talk to me and comfort me when I was upset right there washing dishes. He really cares for me..as a daughter that he hugs so closely to his heart.