I value vulnerability, honesty, and openness, so I make an effort to show people the mess and the excitement in my life.

But there are just a few things in life that you wouldn't share with anyone easily in fear of God. Maybe all the more so when these thoughts and feelings are in their early stages. You only tell God because He absolutely knows what you're thinking and feeling. At least right now.

I don't know where all this will lead me. What I know for sure, is that I'm not ready just yet. Time will tell if I am thinking too much or seeking satisfaction in an idol instead. Or if it will blossom into something beautiful.