dogged defenses?

So I have some burning questions. I'm curious to know what believers understand of these issues...

1. Are some cultures spiritually or morally superior to other cultures?

2. Are people whom God convicts to leave inferior or superior to those whom God convicts to stay and reform?

3. When people leave a church, the church may spend quite some time and effort to keep in touch with them. Why might they the church be upset that these people don't 'return' though the two sides may be on good terms with each other?

3a) If the way people 'do' church today is the best/most biblical way of expressing Christ's commands ("Love one another", and "Make disciples of all nations"), doesn't that mean that the early believers, and underground believers in North Korea and Cambodia are practicing a deficit faith?

OR

3b) If the way people 'do' church today is a cultural expression of Christ's commands, is this expression superior to other cultural forms of expressions?

I guess it's understandable or maybe even natural for us to make extra-biblical assumptions about different things because we grow up being taught so, and we seldom experience alternatives.

What raises my eyebrows is when we doggedly defend them as biblical truth when it is not in the Bible, or sometimes the Bible warns against it. Lol. Or sometimes we are repeatedly unwilling to check out what God says about these issues in the Bible even though we know that's where we find the truth.

Isn't this why 'Christians' have persecuted one another throughout history, blasphemously, in the name of Jesus Christ? Today, the persecution goes on, more so through verbal violence in the Western/Westernized parts of the world because of modern legal restrictions against physical violence.

Strikingly, nowhere in the New Testament do we find the terms church (ekklesia), temple, or house of God used to refer to a building. To the ears of a first-century Christian, calling an ekklesia (church) a building would have been like calling your wife a condominium or your mother a skyscraper!

George Barna, and Frank Viola in
Pagan Christianity: Exploring the Roots of Our Church Practices (2008).

Just one of the things I wonder about...

I am a followers.

Warning: some preliminary brain vomit.

At the same time, my butt is going into random spasms wanting to vomit too. HAHAHA. Sorry I couldn't resist making a weird joke, but it's true.

I've been learning about this concept called the entrepreneurial self. This ideology is everywhere, I realized. I mean ideology to be a concept, a way of thinking (not in a bad way since everyone is by nature subjective). We grow up breathing and living on it, at least in Singapore. In layman terms, the entrepreneurial self is someone who relies on himself and is highly capable of voicing his personal views and lifestyle in public spaces. If he needs help, he can rely on the resources he has built up for times like this: friendships, relationships, organizations he joins and contributes to. Others see him to be a burden, a freeloader if he doesn't solve his problems himself.

Originating from the postwar human potential movement from counseling and psychotherapy that emphasized on 'talking your feelings', the entrepreneurial self is valued for his ability to analyze himself and talk about his personal life amazingly in public situations. From this concept we get the notion of "sharing" and "discussion", and our endless sentences that start with "I think", "I feel", and "for me".

I'm not saying that these are bad in themselves. Every generation has their own dominant ideologies, and for our generation, it seems to be increasingly this: in schools, in workplaces, in the government, in clubs and societies, in religious institutions.

I think I am a very entrepreneurial self. Of course it can be difficult sometimes, and I end up feeling like I'm being despised by some people in authority. But I know that I am a good storyteller by God's grace, I can share my personal feelings and stuff like that as you can see from this blog.

If I'm not careful, I will forget that living Jesus is a communal thing. The focus on the individual that came especially from the past two centuries through preachers such as Charles Finney, and D.L. Moody, and the Methodists has pretty much pervaded most of Christianity. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I find myself sometimes thinking culturally in similar individualistic ways as many Christians do.

And I forget that Jesus' key commandment for all believers is "Love one another". I can't love-one-another myself, and if Jesus is right that loving others is the biggest commandment, then community life is integral to living like him. It's not just about having friends who are believers, but obeying and serving the Lord together every day.

Following Jesus is a personal heart-thing and a communal matter. To my generation, I'd like to stress the latter. There has never been a place for individualism in God's family of believers, and I hope we would be careful to live humbly and joyfully in a community of believers too.

Jesus billionaire

The Prosperity Gospel from The Global Conversation on Vimeo.

People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

1 Timothy 6: 9-10

You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

2 Corinthians 9: 11

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2: 20

Heart change

Thanks for reading this blog. I have a wish for you, and I believe someone else very close to many people's hearts for thousands of years has the same wish too.

My wish for you is a heart change to love.

A spiritual surgery and renewal
that will take a whole lifetime,
and will make you more and more
charming/beautiful in God's sight.

"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.

Jesus, preaching on a mountain in 1st c. AD

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

1 John 4: 9-10

I'm on this constant journey of heart change with many others, constant because it is a daily decision to let Jesus wrench away my selfish motivations and replace it with his love. And I hope you would join me!

we fade away like grass

I went for my scheduled ambulance run at jurong firestation today from 8am-9pm. Initially it was all quiet and dull. The dispatch radio stayed silent, time just seemed to pass ever so slowly. I was eagerly anticipating the siren to go off and itching to get some action. Just as I was slumped in my chair enjoying a mid-afternoon nap, I got my wish. The sirens blared and the announcement that I had imagined the whole morning in my mind pierced the silence in the dreary firepost. "Alpha 411 mobilize!" Ok those weren't the actual words but that was all that registered. I sprang out my drowsy state, grabbed my steth and followed the paramedic.

All i knew about the call was that it was a road traffic accident along PIE. Along the way further updates were passed through the radio and the paramedic informed me to brace myself as we were in for a very serious RTA case. "1 collapse case and 1 amputation case - Jon, take the defibrillator and follow the medic and update me on the status of the patient, I'll be with the other casualty". Right after delivering his instructions, the paramedic phoned for back-up. Nothing the paramedic said could have prepared me for the sight at the scene. I stepped out of the ambulance and saw 2 motionless bodies, 2 damaged lorries, 1crushed motorcycle and lots of debris/flung-off cargo spread across the entire width of the expressway. Police officers were already at the scene diverting oncoming traffic to the side road. The lorry driver ran up to me, face-bloodied, asking to be attended to. On hindsight I think the medic brushed him off and asked him to wait in the ambulance first as we would tend to the other 2 victims first.

As I ran towards the 1st victim, a middle aged Indian, the severity of the accident started to sink in. To my horror I saw him lying prone, covered with blood and torn bags of rice; all that was left of his left leg was a stump. I needed a few moments to scan the surrounding area and noticed his severed leg lying 10meters away in front of the badly damaged lorry. The paramedic then motioned for me to go over to the motorcyclist and check his pulse. I wheeled the stretcher over, knelt down over his motionless body and placed my 2 fingers over his radial artery praying and hoping that I would feel something pulsating. His eyes were open and fixed, no sign of breathing and his body was contorted. 10s, no pulse. I tried again and I thought I felt a tready faint pulse and told the medic. Help came and the medic pronounced him dead, no pulse and likely spinal cord injury. No defib needed, not even CPR. Another ambulance arrived and our team rushed back to 411 and attended to the lorry driver who was by now complaining about difficulty breathing with blood in his nose. He sustained maxillofacial lacerations but was otherwise stable. Just set an IV line and gave supplemental O2. I was still kindda reeling in shock on the way to NUH and it was obvious that the paramedics were quite taken aback as well.

It just dawned on me that its so true, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Even as I watched the video footage on the news I was reminded about the fragility of life. How often we feel we're in control of our life, that we're powerful and invincible when God can just take that away in an instant. And life is such a beautiful thing that i'm guilty of taking for granted. Today's close encounter with death has further reinforced my desire to do medicine, though very often there's seemingly not much you can do, I believe the value of life itself far surpasses everything and that despite our limitations we ought to give it due respect. I have a queer habit of sometimes putting my palm against my chest and feeling my own heartbeat. Its intriguing, how this awesome muscular organ can keep beating without ever tiring. Somehow it makes me feel vulnerable, and to make the most of each day (i find it really hard!), and reminds me that God should be in control. And yeah, I'm definitely reconsidering biking in the future.

(via Jon, a Medicine undergrad. He doesn't blog but he's let me put his story up here.)

The Killing Man

Pat
04/17/07 at 02:48 PM

Yes, I Gas Dogs and Cats for a Living.
I'm an Animal Control officer in a very small town in central North Carolina.
I'm in my mid thirties, and have been working for the town in different positions since high school.

There is not much work here, and working for the county provides good pay and benefits for a person like me without a higher education. I'm the person you all write about how horrible I am.

I'm the one that gasses the dogs and cats and makes them suffer. I'm the one that pulls their dead corpses out smelling of Carbon Monoxide and throws them into green plastic bags. But I'm also the one that hates my job and hates what I have to do.

First off, all you people out there that judge me, don't. God is judging me, and I know I'm going to Hell. Yes, I'm going to hell. I wont lie, it's despicable, cold, cruel and I feel like a serial killer. I'm not all to blame, if the law would mandate spay and neuter, lots of these dogs and cats wouldn't be here for me to gas. I'm the devil, I know it, but I want you people to see that there is another side to me the devil Gas Chamber man.
The shelter usually gasses on Friday morning.

Friday's are the day that most people look forward to, this is the day that I hate, and wish that time will stand still on Thursday night. Thursday night, late, after no one is around, my friend and I go through a fast food line, and buy 50 dollars worth of cheeseburgers and fries, and chicken. I'm not allowed to feed the dogs on Thursday, for I'm told that they will make a mess in the gas chamber, and why waste the food.
So, Thursday night, with the lights still closed, I go into the saddest room that anyone can every imagine, and let all the doomed dogs out out their cages.

I have never been bit, and in all my years doing this, the dogs have never fought over the food. My buddy and I, open each wrapper of cheeseburger and chicken sandwich, and feed them to the skinny, starving dogs. They swallow the food so fast, that I don't believe they even taste it. There tails are wagging, and some don't even go for the food, they roll on their backs wanting a scratch on their bellies. They start running, jumping and kissing me and my buddy. They go back to their food, and come back to us. All their eyes are on us with such trust and hope, and their tails wag so fast, that I have come out with black and blues on my thighs.. They devour the food, then it's time for them to devour some love and peace. My buddy and I sit down on the dirty, pee stained concrete floor, and we let the dogs jump on us. They lick us, they put their butts in the air to play, and they play with each other. Some lick each other, but most are glued on me and my buddy.

I look into the eyes of each dog. I give each dog a name.
They will not die without a name.
I give each dog 5 minutes of unconditional love and touch.
I talk to them, and tell them that I'm so sorry that tomorrow they will die a gruesome, long, torturous death at the hands of me in the gas chamber.
Some tilt their heads to try to understand.
I tell them, that they will be in a better place, and I beg them not to hate me.

I tell them that I know I'm going to hell, but they will all be playing with all the dogs and cats in heaven.
After about 30 minutes, I take each dog individually, into their feces filled concrete jail cell, and pet them and scratch them under their chins.
Some give me their paw, and I just want to die. I just want to die.
I close the jail cell on each dog, and ask them to forgive me.

As my buddy and I are walking out, we watch as every dog
is smiling at us and them don't even move their heads.
They will sleep, with a full belly, and a false sense of security.

As we walk out of the doomed dog room, my buddy and I go to the cat room. We take our box, and put the very friendly kittens and pregnant cats in our box. The shelter doesn't keep tabs on the cats, like they do the dogs.

As I hand pick which cats are going to make it out, I feel like I'm playing God, deciding whose going to live and die.
We take the cats into my truck, and put them on blankets in the back.

Usually, as soon as we start to drive away, there are purring cats sitting on our necks or rubbing against us.
My buddy and I take our one way two hour trip to a county that is very wealthy and they use injection to kill animals.

We go to exclusive neighborhoods, and let one or two cats out at a time.

They don't want to run, they want to stay with us. We shoo them away, which makes me feel sad.
I tell them that these rich people will adopt them, and if worse comes to worse and they do get put down, they will be put down with a painless needle being cradled by a loving veterinarian.

After the last cat is free, we drive back to our town.
It's about 5 in the morning now, about two hours until I have to gas my best friends.

I go home, take a shower, take my 4 anti-anxiety pills and drive to work.. I don't eat, I can't eat.
It's now time, to put these animals in the gas chamber. I put my ear plugs in, and when I go to the collect the dogs, the dogs are so excited to see me, that they jump up to kiss me and think they are going to play.
I put them in the rolling cage and take them to the gas chamber. They know. They just know. They can smell the death.. They can smell the fear.
They start whimpering, the second I put them in the box.
The boss tells me to squeeze in as many as I can to save on gas.

He watches. He knows I hate him, he knows I hate my job.
I do as I'm told. He watches until all the dogs, and cats (thrown in together) are fighting and screaming. The sounds is very muffled to me because of my ear plugs.
He walks out, I turn the gas on, and walk out.

I walk out as fast as I can. I walk into the bathroom, and I take a pin and draw blood from my hand. Why? The pain and blood takes my brain off of what I just did.
In 40 minutes, I have to go back and unload the dead animals. I pray that none survived, which happens when I over stuff the chamber. I pull them out with thick gloves, and the smell of carbon monoxide makes me sick. So does the vomit and blood, and all the bowel movements. I pull them out, put them in plastic bags.

They are in heaven now, I tell myself. I then start cleaning up the mess, the mess, that YOU PEOPLE are creating by not spay or neutering your animals. The mess that YOU PEOPLE are creating by not demanding that a vet come in and do this humanely. You ARE THE TAXPAYERS, DEMAND that this practice STOP!

So, don't call me the monster, the devil, the gas man, call the politicians, the shelter directors, and the county people the devil. Heck, call the governor, tell him to make it stop.

As usual, I will take sleeping pills tonight to drown out the screams I heard in the past, before I discovered the ear plugs. I will jump and twitch in my sleep, and I believe I'm starting to hallucinate.

This is my life. Don't judge me. Believe me, I judge myself enough.
Bad thing is I'm just as much a devil as Pat is, doomed for condemnation. Many times I have hurt people like Pat in ways I don't know or choose to ignore.

(via New York Bird Club)

"The command was meant to bring life, but for me it brought death. This happened so that I could see what sin is really like; the command was used to show that sin is very evil. Just as everyone must die once and then be judged, so Christ was offered as a sacrifice one time to take away the sins of many people."

Romans 7: 10, 13; Hebrews 9: 27-28

Jesus, thank you for freeing me from myself and from my wounds and trauma to follow you! And love your animals, and your people.

my personal ad

I've been writing so much for my papers the past week that if I write anymore, I will probably kill myself.

Just kidding, you know it!

I'm desperate for hangout buddies, but so happens that people are busy this weekend especially with Easter. My friends tell me I can chill at home, but that's what I've been doing this week, on top of drawing and writing quite a number of letters. I have to say it is God's grace that he let me chill and finish a lot of homework.

So, please hang out with me if you see this (I'm assuming you're my friend, that is)! Text or call me.

Plan B
Climb Bukit Timah hill, maybe twice.
Give free hugs downtown over the weekend
(that should burn a lot of time!)
Run.
Go on a reading date with myself at Botanic Gardens
Write a book. which is unlikely. LOL
Eat bugs, which is highly unlikely.
So is eating cat meat as they do somewhere else.
Maybe draw some more if I'm inspired.

Yeah, so hang out with meeeee.