i'm too proud for God

I feel anger and pride coming over me - not involuntarily, but I've allowed it and actually enjoyed feeling the adrenaline rush of winning arguments even when it means hurting others, and the false sense of superiority it gives me. I'm judging again one of the very persons in my family I've finally starting loving just this summer. I snapped at my dad and appeared patronizing, hoping that he'd see that I AM patronizing him and I can't wait for his conversation to end...just so I can return to my own little haven of video-watching. Those videos were really great and powerful, but I'm not practicing the love they were reminding me to live out.

Please pray for me. It sure doesn't help that the benefit party is coming up this Friday and I'm not in the best spiritual condition I can be as a steward of God to run his party.
----
Dear God, thanks for letting me come to my senses about my pride. It is disgusting and filthy and shameful, but I can't get rid of it at all - more often than not, I enjoy this false sense of superiority that I get from fleeting things like arguments and conversations that make me feel popular or welcomed. And it was pride that drove people to do the worse of things, like the Holocaust, the apartheid, and slavery. Please guard my heart. You warned me thousands of years ago that my heart is very important in how I live life, but it is deceitful above everything else.

And this pride didn't creep back in like a surprise attack. I believed that I could live a life that pleased you without you. I didn't bother to be intimate with you or walk with you in the cool of the day.

Please teach me that I am second, and Jesus is first. Please overwhelm me so much with your love so I believe so! Teach me humility. If I don't take it in, I give you total permission to CARVE or BEAT HUMILITY INTO ME.








More from I Am Second, a campaign in Dallas, TX with powerful videos on how Jesus changed their lives, and now they gladly serve him.

And God, you're right. I'm also a terrorist like Chris Plekenpol. I hated you and I was your enemy, but thank you for sending Jesus to take the blast for me even when I deserved it. You didn't stand back and watch me die because I deserved it for hating you so much I deliberately opposed you in every way I could, even when I knew you were watching. And I AM NOT EXAGGERATING - you can vouch for me about that. You rushed into the bog to pull me out, and taught me that your love changes everything.

Elamurugan Chellan

For 1 1/2 years, Mr Elamurugan's home has been under a spiral staircase in a Serangoon shophouse after he lost his job and had to leave his Kranji dormitory

INDIAN NATIONAL'S TOES DROP OFF ONE BY ONE
FOR MORE THAN A YEAR, HE HARDLY LEAVES HIS HOME
EACH time one of his toes dropped off, he would cry as he wrapped it in paper before throwing it away.

By Celine Lim
10 May 2008

EACH time one of his toes dropped off, he would cry as he wrapped it in paper before throwing it away.

Mr Elamurugan Chellan ended up shedding a lot of tears - he lost all 10 toes on both feet to melioidosis, also known as soil disease.

After contracting the disease while working here as a construction worker in November 2006, the 28-year-old Indian national suffered multiple organ failure.

He was warded in the intensive care unit and put on life support for a week. It would be another 2 1/2 months before he was discharged from hospital.

Today, Mr Elamurugan is still learning to walk without his toes. The wounds on his right foot are still raw.

Recalling how he cried as he threw his toes in the rubbish bin, one by one over a few months, he said: 'It's hard to explain what it feels like. No one should have to go through this, seeing your toes drop off one by one.'

Soil disease is caused by a bacteria found in soil, surface water or mud, and has been identified as a potential bioterrorism agent here, in the US and Europe.

Last month, following a long-drawn negotiation, his former employer's insurer agreed to pay him $45,000 in Workmen's Compensation.

Mr Elamurugan said he had been working in Singapore for about 1 1/2years when he contracted the disease. His job involved digging trenches 3m to 5m deep for cables to be laid in the ground.

He said in Tamil: 'We all wore long-sleeved tops, long pants and rubber boots for work. But from time to time, muddy water would still seep into our boots.'

The farmer's son from Tiruchirappalli in Tamil Nadu was not bothered by the work conditions.

'In my village, everyone walked barefooted in the rice fields because we believe the land is sacred as it feeds us.

'Elsewhere, we wear shoes. I'd never heard of soil disease before.'

Then, in November 2006, he felt a 'pulling pain' in his right thigh.

He saw a doctor and was given painkillers. But a week later, he was running a high fever and the pain in his thigh had become unbearable.

His toes were swollen and had turned a purplish colour.

So on 26 Nov, he went to the accident and emergency department of the Singapore General Hospital.

He was diagnosed with the disease, which resulted in multiple organ failure, said his medical report.

Mr Elamurugan recalled: 'I was shocked that such a thing (soil disease) could happen to me.

'I went for a medical test, including blood tests and X-rays, before I could get my work permit. After a year of work, I had another medical test. Both times, I had a clean bill of health.'

After Mr Elamurugan's condition got better, he was transferred to the hospital's Infectious Diseases Unit, where he remained for two months.

He was treated with antibiotics via a drip for more than three weeks before being given a course of oral antibiotics. The pain in his right thigh was due to 'extensive' muscle inflammation and skin infection as a result of the disease.

Meanwhile, his toes had turned from purple to black. The doctor told him the toes had become gangrenous and could not be operated on.

Then came the shock. His toes would most likely 'auto amputate', or drop off on their own, in the next six months.

He said: 'Even when I saw that my toes had turned black, I was confident that the doctors here could save them.

'When I heard my toes would come off, I was shocked. I thought, 'My whole life is gone.' I can't go home to work in the fields because I can't walk properly. I'm still not married... In India, people look at a person from head to toe.'

He was discharged from hospital on 8 Feb 2007, and over the next seven months, he lost all his toes.

Without them, he could not keep his balance and had to use a walking aid supplied by the hospital to get around.

To make matters worse, he found out he was diabetic and his wounds took a longer time to heal. Blood and pus would ooze out as he hobbled around his temporary lodgings.

He said: 'I hardly left my lodgings. All I did was eat, sleep, wash myself and take my tablets. My friends would buy me food. I had no energy because of all the blood lost.'

Mr Elamurugan also faced financial difficulties as his fight for Workmen's Compensation dragged on.

Six months after being hospitalised, he ran out of cash and had to 'beg and borrow' from his friends.

His work permit expired on 26 Feb 2007 and he was given a special permit, allowing him to remain here while settling his compensation claim, but forbidding him from working.

Mr Elamurugan said he used to earn $18 for a day's work from 8.30am to about 8pm. He was paid $25 if he worked overtime.

He lost his job because of his injury and had to move out of his Kranji dormitory. He ended up paying $150 a month for a space under a spiral staircase in a Serangoon shophouse.

He visits the polyclinic once a month and would pay $15 for consultation and $20 to $30 for medicine each time.

Once he gets his compensation money, Mr Elamurugan plans to return home and hopes to seek a herbal cure for his right foot, which is not healing properly.

He also wants to be fitted with prosthetics that will enable him to walk properly so he can work again.

But he said initial enquiries by his family placed the cost for the prosthetics in India at about 15 lakhs ($50,000).

Mr Elamurugan said he wants to repay his lawyer, Mr Pritam Singh Gill, who had given him about $250 a month for living expenses for more than a year.

But Mr Gill said he did not want any repayment. He said: 'I felt so sorry for him. Each time I saw him in my office, he'll tell me that he just lost another toe. I collected a token of appreciation from him for my legal fees and that's enough.'

http://tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,164313,00.html?

Article from a NewsNation forum. More from Migrant Workers Singapore, a blog that documents local news articles on slavery in Singapore. Horrendous amounts of articles, yet there are so many migrant workers in the past few decades who have died and have not been reported at all, according to my dad who was a foreman and a supervisor in Singapore for over two decades. The police wouldn't even bother to come when migrant workers report subcontractors dumping the bodies of migrant workers who died.

Quite a number of believers I talk to get so bored and disinterested, some not even wanting to know about social injustice in the world. But I know it's just a matter of time God convicts them about being compassionate to everyone like Jesus does. I used to be quite like that until he changed me - praise him! I'll quote this again.

Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not he who guards your life know it?
Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?
Proverbs 24:11-12

The Absent Party, Dec 4

Who dat? Yeah it's me (again). I'm running this benefit-birthday party for the Dalits in India. You might know them as the Untouchables in India. Actually, there are also Unapproachables and Unseeables. The Unapproachables have to keep at least 33 feet away from the higher caste people; and the Unseeables may only come out at between sunset and sunrise. "Dalit" has Sanskrit and Latin origins; in Sanskrit it means 'broken, crushed, oppressed'.

Joseph D. Souza comes to speak at Marcus' church each year, and this year he told a story of how this Dalit girl needed the bathroom so bad she took the fastest route to it even though she knew that route was for higher castes - the Dalits had to take a longer path. When she came out of the bathroom, she was burnt alive.

During summer, this teenage Dalit boy got severely electrocuted accidentally. His relatives rushed him to the hospital after he got hurt. And guess what? He died right there waiting for treatment because the hospital was apparently not legislated to treat Dalits.

This party will be held in conjunction with my 21st birthday (which was earlier this month). Anyone is free to come: there'll be free food and live music. You are NOT SUPPOSED to bring any birthday presents for me. Instead, please give the money to the Dalits instead. 100% of the money will go to O.M. India via O.M. Singapore. O.M. India works directly with the Dalits in India, providing microloans (92% success rate), education, legal advocacy, and vocational training for many Dalits in India. Most importantly, they tell the Dalits about JESUS, who truly sets them free with truth. A quarter of the people in India are Dalits, and I've heard of how O.M. India staff sometimes go without food for a few days because they are underfunded (relatively, when you think of the 1600 million people who need help).

Numerous people think this is a great idea, and I only have God to thank for it. Now I'm feeling for the first time what it means to run a slightly bigger errand on behalf of Someone Else. God is letting me run his party, and there could be so many more eligible candidates for this but...he's letting me run this for his Kingdom! Of course, I want to give this party my best. It's really great to know I'm not overstressed out by God's high expectations, because I know that if he wants me to run his party, he will also provide the best. I have faith that he is.

I posted this last spring but I'll put it up here again.

Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not he who guards your life know it?
Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?
Proverbs 24:11-12

He will defend the afflicted among the people and save the children of the needy; he will crush the oppressor.
Psalm 52:4

Beautiful

God, make me beautiful and lovely, but only in your sight.

they'll be executed in Afghanistan

I got this text this morning at 11.17am:

"Text from Joyce Meyer's head office - There are 22 Christian Missionary families that will be executed by Islamists in Afghanistan. pls forward this message as fast as you can so that many will pray. Luke 21:12-19; Philippians 1:20-21"

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

Paul, former noted anti-believers leader who imprisoned believers in 1st c. A.D. He later turned into a powerful servant and preacher after Jesus appeared to him while he was on his way to the Syrian capital, Damascus, to imprison more believers - men, women and children.

Singapore's slavery

The backbone of Singapore's skyscrapers and houses: the BLOOD of innocent men-turned-slaves. What are you doing about it?




Both by Shelley Thio, Transient Workers Count Too (TWC2)

Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not he who guards your life know it?
Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?
Proverbs 24:11-12

He will defend the afflicted among the people and save the children of the needy; he will crush the oppressor.
Psalm 52:4

So glad all injustice will end!