Deut. 32:3-4

Can I be honest today?

My heart's been heavy since coming back to Singapore. I cry a lot. Three-quarters of the time I wish I didn't have to come back to face problems...alone, in Singapore, for part of it. You've probably experienced this before in your own way. An ancient old man who called himself The Preacher told me there are no new things under the sun though we may feel otherwise. The same things happen to different people across different generations.

Have you felt lonely, stressful and afraid? Lonely because the friends who listen or stand by, and possibly empathize are few. Stressful and afraid because the line between living Jesus' way and going astray is so fine. Satan attacks and is waiting for pride and idolatry to topple me over into his gaping mouth; God shows me answers and lovely love, and promises to satisfy me through and through when I thirst for him and seek him.

I feel some things happening to me now are such injustices. But God reminded me of a song that a weak and great man sang on the day he died, "I will proclaim the name of the LORD. Oh, praise the greatness of our God! He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he."

It's awesome that my God is just, rewarding good and punishing bad. This is the God I know who will address all grievances and injustices of the world, from Abel, the first murder victim of mankind, Uriah the Hittite, the Sawis and their enemies, the Jamaican slaves who worked to death in merchant ships or sugar cane fields, to the Holocaust Jews and the many men, women and children who are mutilated physically and emotionally through various kinds of exploitation, under the power of bloodthirsty people.

Part of my plight now is a consequence of my previous foolish and selfish ways. God is just, and it's waaayyy more than awesome that his justice is bound in his goodness. That he heals my grievous heart every day as I seek him, giving me the words to speak wisely and graciously when I am afraid. He tells me his works are "perfect" and "all" his ways are just. It's not just the end result that's full of justice, but even the process of it - the entire way, the road leading up to that destination. And if I thirst continually for righteousness, I will be vindicated while walking on this road of justice. But if I give myself over to anger, jealousy, selfishness and judgmentalism, I will be disciplined and broken again, so I'd stop slapping Dad's hand away from the wounds that would have festered and rot long enough.

What can I do? Time and again, God tells me this...to praise him. And urge other believers strongly to praise him too, so strong it's an imperative, a command. To faithfully relish in his love and be overwhelmed by his goodness, and faithfully love one another, share Jesus with many broken souls, and disciple. God, you do no wrong, upright and just are you. Isn't that mindblowingly wonderful?