Deut. 32:3-4

Can I be honest today?

My heart's been heavy since coming back to Singapore. I cry a lot. Three-quarters of the time I wish I didn't have to come back to face problems...alone, in Singapore, for part of it. You've probably experienced this before in your own way. An ancient old man who called himself The Preacher told me there are no new things under the sun though we may feel otherwise. The same things happen to different people across different generations.

Have you felt lonely, stressful and afraid? Lonely because the friends who listen or stand by, and possibly empathize are few. Stressful and afraid because the line between living Jesus' way and going astray is so fine. Satan attacks and is waiting for pride and idolatry to topple me over into his gaping mouth; God shows me answers and lovely love, and promises to satisfy me through and through when I thirst for him and seek him.

I feel some things happening to me now are such injustices. But God reminded me of a song that a weak and great man sang on the day he died, "I will proclaim the name of the LORD. Oh, praise the greatness of our God! He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he."

It's awesome that my God is just, rewarding good and punishing bad. This is the God I know who will address all grievances and injustices of the world, from Abel, the first murder victim of mankind, Uriah the Hittite, the Sawis and their enemies, the Jamaican slaves who worked to death in merchant ships or sugar cane fields, to the Holocaust Jews and the many men, women and children who are mutilated physically and emotionally through various kinds of exploitation, under the power of bloodthirsty people.

Part of my plight now is a consequence of my previous foolish and selfish ways. God is just, and it's waaayyy more than awesome that his justice is bound in his goodness. That he heals my grievous heart every day as I seek him, giving me the words to speak wisely and graciously when I am afraid. He tells me his works are "perfect" and "all" his ways are just. It's not just the end result that's full of justice, but even the process of it - the entire way, the road leading up to that destination. And if I thirst continually for righteousness, I will be vindicated while walking on this road of justice. But if I give myself over to anger, jealousy, selfishness and judgmentalism, I will be disciplined and broken again, so I'd stop slapping Dad's hand away from the wounds that would have festered and rot long enough.

What can I do? Time and again, God tells me this...to praise him. And urge other believers strongly to praise him too, so strong it's an imperative, a command. To faithfully relish in his love and be overwhelmed by his goodness, and faithfully love one another, share Jesus with many broken souls, and disciple. God, you do no wrong, upright and just are you. Isn't that mindblowingly wonderful?

Let me die!

Jesus is Hard to Enjoy
Pete Hammond

I seek comfort – He invites me to join in his suffering.
I like acceptance and approval – He calls me to be counter-cultural.
I assume my right to safety – He calls me to personal risk.
I desire financial security – He encourages generosity.
I cherish privacy – He invites me into community.
I yearn for personal significance – he made himself “of no reputation.”
I hide for fear of being judged and rejected – He knows me fully and loves me.
I really like my pillow – He had no place to lay his head.
I want to prolong a healthy life – He calls me to die daily.
I hide in macho male bravado – He weeps for others.
I love good regular meals – He feeds others.
I ponder doctrine – He practices love.
I crave success – He wants me to oppose evil at all costs.
I seek out important people – He befriends the despised and rejected.

Jesus is hard to enjoy,
But what I find deep within me is much worse.

“Let this mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus,
Who though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God as something to be explited,
but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave,
being born in human likeness, and being found in human form,
he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death,
even death on a cross.”
(Paul to the Philippians in Philippians 2:5-9)

Lord, help me make choices in my journey that lead
to becoming like Jesus;
by breaking the hold of sin and evil within me,
resisting my appetite for comfort, popularity and worldly success,
so I can find real joy in Jesus!
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Why have there been so much tears? Jesus, help me die every single day...please teach me to live your way, please!

Isa

I just got home..it was raining pretty heavily and since I had my bike, I had to go through the thick with her under the rain, up the long slope on Dairy Farm. Maybe I forget how often it rains in Singapore and so I wouldn't always be able to get my share of fun cycling.

Unless I make a huge bubblewrap thing around the whole bike. I'd be FORMIDABLE. HOHO.

I read a missions booklet, and on the fact that God has already accepted Jesus/Isa as a payment for our sins for 2000 years, it asked,

How can it be that...

...nearly a billion souls perform rituals and bring sacrifices to more than 330 million deities ...

... 1.3 billion Muslims prostrate themselves in prayer toward Mecca five times a day ...

... a sun worshipper stares into the rising sun until he eventually goes blind ...

... thousands of devout Buddhists renounce everything into life, leave their families and become monks, owning nothing but a saffron robe and a begging bowl ...

...why?

And the answer was

"Because they sincerely seek forgiveness of sins. And because they are part of nearly 3 billion people living today who are waiting to hear the Gospel."

His life for mine!