Wedlock

Rev Malcolm Tan, pastor in-charge of Barker Road Methodist Church, spoke on I John 4 today at a truly Christian matrimony.

'...whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.' (v7)
All forms of love, even when corrupted or distorted by Man, has ultimately no other source than God. Because God is Love and He has, in creating us in His image, instilled this essential quality in us. Yet, love is the mark of a true Christian, and is distinguished from love that non-Christians can offer as God-enabled love transcends pettiness, selfishness and always initiates and does not calculate reciprocity. Only those who have been born again can experience God and love people in return. Only through Christ can we love. And knowing God is to have a personal relationship with Him, to recognise that His presence in our lives is very true and real. Mystics or psychologists may try their various mystical methods to 'experience the Higher Power', such as re-birthing techniques, but we often find these practices are not different from the occult, and turn out to be unbiblical. Love is the mark of a true Christian.

'In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him.' (v8)
True love is life-affirming. It does not destroy, corrupt or tear down. A Christian who has an extramarital affair with another man on the claims of love is not validated, because marriage is corrupted. On the contrary, it is sin. God gave the prime example of life-affirming love through the death and resurrection of Christ, that we who have been dead in transgressions have been quickened to life and joy again. Jesus made the dead come alive while on earth, and we, His disciples, are equally able to do so by loving, for it revives the spiritually dead. It melts even the hardest heart.

'In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.' (v9)
Love always initiates. There will be times when love 'runs dry', when we stop making the first move of affection or concern because our spouse, boy-/girlfriend (I'll term them as 'partner' in short) is not reciprocating our love. And we say that our efforts are futile and we become discouraged or indifferent towards loving him/her. But God has set an example for us to follow, that because we have received His initiative salvific love, we are to follow in the steps of this generous love. That means not being calculative or engaging in corporate worldview that focuses on performance, efficiency and results. This is why Paul writes later on, "We love because He first loved us" (v19). Following God's initiative, salvific love explains why love is a mark of those who have received this love from God; it is impossible for a non-believer to commemorate God's love through Christ.

In addition to setting an example for us, His children, we know that God always makes the first move to love us, not out of any merit or favour we have earned in our ugly, filthy state back then, or in our new lives that are still being trained and refined for His holiness. God doesn't calculate how much we love Him before He loves us back (a mindset that is realistically human, but petty). God's words never return empty, but accomplishes that which He has purposed, and succeeds in the thing for which He sent it (Isa 55:11). Likewise, we should fulfill our pledge to be faithful and to love our partner.

And the central truth of life-affirming love through Christ that is God-motivated and God-given is beautifully summarised in v12, 'No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.'