My Results

The 'A' level results. What a touchy and sensitive issue, especially during that week of anticipation prior to collecting it. I must thank God absolutely because I wasn't bugged by self-imposed benchmarks and evident thought of fruits of longsuffering labour over the last week. The worst of what anticipation I felt was icy cold palms on Friday morning. (Wait but isn't it weird then that my hands have remained icy cold till now?)

My philosophy regarding results and achievements of any kind is: 'The higher you hope, the greater you'll fall'. I can imagine my students calling me a pessimist again. Of course, when you don't expect anything, you won't feel embarrassed or ashamed in front of others when you 'underperform'. But for me, I think that when I don't expect anything, I am worries-free, and I can give thanks to God humbly for the outcome. I entrust the outcome to God.

I got A for English Literature, Geography, and Economics, A1 for GP and B3 for AO Mathematics. (Arr! Ugly B3, but I deserved it for complacency.) And A2 for AO Chinese, which was taken when I was in J1.

You might smirk, 'Ha, easy for you to say - you did well. I doubt you would say this if you did badly.'

I was not a good academic performer in junior college. Check my geography results especially. I was getting straight O's before the D for last June's common test, not out of laziness but a lack of wisdom to study and answer smart. Thanks to God, I could still stand by the faith I have in Him. Whereas for Lit, I remember hating it so badly that I would purposely allocate Lit lessons as my sleeping time, especially during E4 lessons on boring Red Badge of Courage. Oh! and Lit assignments were handed in 2 months after deadlines. LOL. I remember Shu Juan Dao Shi (my ex-Sunday school teacher and life mentor) comforting me that I needed to make myself confront the subject and overcome it, since it's God's Will for me to do so. As for Economics, Mrs Yap has made me live in fear as her student, struggling to survive in the tough competition and stress she gives. Through fine-tuning my essays, thanks to Olie, Si, JT and Sher, I saw a rising trend in the grades Mrs Yap gave through each essay.

As for GP, I guess I put in hard work out of empathy for Miss Low. I decided to be her goody two-shoes to release her stress of teaching a crazy class that celebrates her birthday every now and then. LOL! Not putting my beloved class in a bad light here however. With my varying experiences from sheer nerdy, eye circle-inducing and unkempt hair-frizzing diligence to initial nonchalance and repulse, my philosophy worked - have great faith in our Father! Will He give us a stone instead of bread? Confront that which is unwished for in life with the faith that He will carry you through. Seek for improvement in humility to glorify God's name in your areas of talent. :)

As a teacher now, I can finally understand how Miss Low and Mr Ng feel at times. That frustration you get when you are not in sync with your lesson plans, the stress to remain comparable to your colleagues (BECAUSE STUDENTS COMPARE THEIR TEACHERS >:( ), the woes from doubting your own teaching abilities...

And, I must clear Mr Ng's name here. Don't laugh but I think he is like a raw diamond - he merely needs time to learn how to teach and convey what he has to share to us. Underneath all the awkward concentration exercises and reprimanding, he is after all, only a human like you and me. And he helped me loads and loads for discursive essays and provoking deeper thoughts for my E1 texts. So don't be prejudiced. He helped me in getting my A for Lit okay!

I think I have ranted/shared enough. To end off the ACJC chapter in my life, I'll share a very precious Bible verse.

'In every thing give thanks: for this is the Will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.'

I Thessalonians 5:18