I've moved!

I have moved!

This is the new address, without the hyphen :D

http://daphdaphne.blogspot.com/

This is my first time moving since the blog started in September 2006. Thanks everyone for reading over almost these 5 years. You can continue reading there! I just blogged a minute ago about a hauntingly brave poem.

See ya there!


(via sunset)

I would write about cats, death, and what I learned about God's sovereignty, but I feel overwhelmed right now and I guess I'll write next time.

We're not halfway through 2011 yet, but so much has happened especially in the past few months in my life and lives of people I hold close to my heart. I am so thankful for them.

God is not human, that he should lie,
   not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
   Does he promise and not fulfill?

Numbers 23:19

There is so much in my heart, and you know it all, Lord. I love you and I trust you.

Heinous

I visited my grandpa again few days back for the first time in a few months. We call him Ah Gong and were told that he was getting weak very quickly. As usual, I tried shamelessly to speak to him in my smattering of Teochew, which was possibly mixed with Hokkien especially since I don't really know the difference between both. I know he can understand Mandarin though he can't speak it. But somehow I don't feel comfortable speaking in Mandarin to him. Whether I speak to him in Mandarin or noob Teochew, communication will still be one-way.

Because the problem is with me.

I cannot understand Teochew. I wasn't taught and continue to be refused by my parents when I ask them to teach me. And yes it is a problem because there are so many things I want to say to this dear old kind person, but I can't.

And because of that I broke down in front of him. Just two of us in the stuffy room, him looking straight and me looking at the cold rain and sunshine outside the glass window. Without my Ah Gong, there wouldn't be me. Or even if I was around, I would probably have been born in China in a place poorer than Singapore. And yet I couldn't talk to this man who was quickly fading away with his paper-thin skin covering a network of green veins that vulnerably shielded his skeleton.

I left that afternoon feeling very upset and angry. And even right now, I still am. I, like most other people my generation, are unable and uninterested in non-Mandarin Chinese languages for various reasons including its low instrumental value in Singapore, and them paling out in comparison to other more exotic languages as publicly imagined. And you notice that to call them dialects of Mandarin is a political construction of Chinese languages to justify Singapore's Speak Mandarin campaign in the 1990s to just 'let the kids learn the common Chinese language', i.e. allegedly Mandarin. Apparently, our brain was only competent enough for two languages, and so the campaign's rhetoric was that if parents continue to teach and/or speak to kids in Chinese 'dialects', then that would affect their grades in Mandarin. And surely no good parent would want to sacrifice their kids' academic performance knowing that they are the ones who affected them right? But apparently, this assumption was also wrong, because the enlightened leaders have realized that our brains can actually only take one language, and hence Chinese becoming increasingly optional in school admission up to university level. Isn't this brain thing better explained by socialization patterns than something psychologically inherent?

Looking back, this early aim of the Speak Mandarin campaign to replace 'dialects' with Mandarin in both media and society has been remarkably successful. My parents know how to speak a few dialects, and they choose not to do it at moderate extents with each other, and they choose not to speak any dialect to us at all. And I suspect that somewhere in their worldview, they have naturalized the campaign's rhetoric and expanded on it - not teaching Teochew to your kids seems so natural and it is difficult explain why (as with why pink is for baby girls, and blue for baby boys, or why pretty girls are usually thin with non-frizzy hair).

Isn't it as ironic as slapping yourself in public that by advocating Mandarin at the expense of my learning of Teochew in order to pass down the celebrated values of Confucianism, I have been denied an urgent and genuine expression of the very same values?

What I experienced that Sunday afternoon is the effect of this heinous campaign. I would even say that it borders on immorality, given its already moralized discourse when people are encouraged to speak Mandarin and preserve the Confucian values of propriety, righteousness, humility, trust, loyalty, filial piety, integrity, and love.

Some say "it's the thought that counts, so don't get too worked up that you can't communicate". But if you are the one fading away into nothingness, won't you desire to communicate with others? Dying or alive, we all know how precious it is to be able to talk with someone in your own language, especially your heart language/s, the one that allows you to connect people at a deeper level than other languages you know.

It is futile to wholly blame the social engineers behind this Speak Mandarin Campaign because I know that it is also my choice to have not learned Teochew all this while. But what I do want to underscore is that our leaders lacked foresight, and now we are systematically affected by their successful eradication of non-Mandarin Chinese languages from most Singaporeans' linguistic repertoires. I say that they lacked foresight because I do not wish to give them the benefit of doubt that they saw this coming but decided that it was ultimately not worth protecting anyway.

This is my Ah Gong. He came from Shantou, a formerly bustling coastal city in the Chinese province of Guangdong appointed for Western trade and contact in the 19th century. He was born into a commoner's family in 1901 and later sailed with many other Chinese immigrants across the South China Sea to Singapore to hopefully eke out a living and then later have his wife and his son (who unfortunately passed while he was away) join him.

He carries with him an entire century of history - from the Qing Dynasty, the early days of modern Singapore, Japanese Occupation, Singapore's independence all the way through till today. And not to mention what little I know about his very hard life, a life that would be unthinkable for many of us in our comfortable cushy world.

And this is the grandpa who will pass on, burying with him the real stories that media has sometimes only fantasized about in serial dramas, burying with him the socially marginalized status the government has relegated to him when they owe him credit for building Singapore to what it is today. But before that, I have many things to say to him, many very important things that he needs to know while he still can.

My Pandamian e-book!

I just started an e-book this afternoon! It's on Pandamian. It's the brainchild of three guys from my Navigators fellowship - Yipeng, Cedric, and Joash. Extremely talented and I can see this becoming something big!

I've titled my book tentatively as Heartbled Muse. This is a collection of the poems and/or songs I write. I've blogged a few of them here, but I did not tag them well and so it's difficult for me to track them. With Pandamian, it's much easier with a 'Table of Content' function. More importantly the nature of the website emphasizes on personal authorship, so it helps copyright my work. A default blogspot can't protect your work at all.

Check my book out!
http://daphdaphne.pandamian.com/

It'll be exciting to see my e-book grow as I write more!

And nope, I wasn't paid to publicize Pandamian. Just doing this to support a really good idea started by ingenious undergrads from my university, especially when they are people I know/friends!

Power of Words

Words can do a whole lot, yet often we don't have to be responsible for them since we can direct them to specific people without actually explicitly mentioning them in our words.

Which can be used wisely and graciously. Or maliciously.

No wonder God says that the human tongue is restless and evil, fully of fatal venom: "People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God."

Words can affirm people and keep peace. Words can also sow lies, and cause self-delusion, division and pain - just look at how popular media prescribes romance and how women should look like for one, and the social, emotional and spiritual consequences in the lives of people we know.

Yesterday I could really feel it in the bus on my way home. It was as Satan had the strings on the people in the bus, manipulating them and swinging them here and there in their emotions so easily.

First there was this 50s-looking man publicly insulting this other 50s-looking man whose shoulder touched his because they both had shoulders broader than their own seat gave space for. He accused the 'offender' for being deliberately obtuse and inconsiderate, and rashly concluded on the spot, announcing that such a person could only be really blind even though he had eyes. In colloquial Chinese, to call someone blind is insulting because it implies that the person is stupid enough to not know the obvious.

He insulted the man once, twice, thrice, repeating his insults in the form of questions. "Can't you see that your shoulder is touching me? Are you blind or what?"

Everyone looked to see what was happening. The man who was insulted retaliated by replying his insults but inaudibly. Imagine the hurt that have been caused just because of one angry, irresponsible, selfish remark.

And then this group of big-sized teenage boys kept spewing vulgarities at the bus exit door that was getting faulty and wouldn't close properly. They also insulted the bus driver because of the faulty door (???). Illogical and irrelevant person to blame if you ask me.

What was it that Satan was doing when he got these boys to scold the door? Surely it wasn't to do anything to the door, but to frustrate the people around them. The boys knew we were listening, and abused this ambiguity as a chance to curse in public.

And the people sure were frustrated. They turned around at noises in a seemingly annoyed manner, and I could feel the bottom of my heart burning in this overcrowded bus too. The spirit of anger was at work in the bus, and thinking of this excerpt that I meditated on for the day, I resisted the temptation to be angry and annoyed as well.

He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. 11 He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.

John 1:10-13

Children of God walk in the light of clear conscience and blamelessness because Jesus has taken our punishment on himself to cancel the debt of unholiness and impurity we incur on ourselves. In the angry darkness that filled the bus, I saw light in me that shone, the light of Christ. Us of supernatural birth...can people see it? Will they be attracted by it and have the courage to expose themselves to the light and have it inside themselves one day?

30 days: day twentyeight

day twentyeight – a picture of something you’re afraid of

YUCK. I couldn't bear to look at the photos of real roaches that I googled, thankfully this photo was peeking out of my hand (I was covering the other disgusting photos).

30 days: day twentysix

day twentysix – a picture of something that means a lot to you

The guitar pick Spencer lent to me

It means a lot to me because he offered his pick to me, and he had been carefully keeping it in his wallet, never forgetting where he left it. (Spencer's the younger of my two younger brothers.)

It means a lot to me because it reminds me of the care and support Spencer has for me, and him being an extremely reliable and dependable person whom you can trust as a friend in need.

I don't know if he gave the pick to me or if it's on loan, but I'm definitely wanting to return to him sometime!

30 days: day twentyfive

day twentyfive – a picture of your day

by Anna Avanceña

from Cuisine Paradise

Frozen yogurt with mochi and pomegranate on top :)

by Fred

Yep, that pretty much sums up my day today! Had a great time over lunch followed by two desserts. Followed by Subway about an hour later since it was the nicest place to study at the mall I was at while waiting for friends. I was supposed to go play cage soccer with them, but I really needed the time to study! Good thing I had a productive 2 hours :)

Hope your day has been good too!

30 days: day twentyfour

day twentyfour – a picture of something you wish you could change

from eMedicine.com

If there's one thing I could change, it would be my feet. I have mallet toes so they look like kitty paws to me. This means I get blisters on the middle joints of my toes if my shoes are too flat or tight since they form the peak of how each of my toes arch. If I do really intense footwork during sports (as I regularly did especially back in secondary school playing netball), my nails bleed at where my cuticles are and my socks occasionally get stained with a small spot of blood. Few times the cuticle will tear, and once or twice the nail will break from there.

My feet underpronate so I don't use the ball of my feet when I walk, run, or stand, which accumulates stress on my spine right now and will probably mean chronic backache when I'm older. Also, my first toes grow diagonally as if I'm wearing pointed shoes, which also means less shock absorption when I walk and putting stress on my spine.

I think it was only in recent years that I realized my feet are the way they are today is because I used to wear shoes that are too small as most Asians (girls especially) seem to do seemingly in some belief that bigger feet are less appealing. Perhaps it is a reminiscent of the lotus-foot tradition? Shoes and flip flops that just fit you and cuts off just at the heel is too small, not just nice!!! And my mom grew up as a village kid who wore her shoes out as much as possible even if it meant squeezing into them. That probably also influenced her judgment on what she saw was the 'right size' for us.

But I like my feet! Because God made them :) And without my awesome feet, I wouldn't be walking, running, jumping, skipping, and doing silly stuff, unlike people who cannot do these things because they cannot walk with their feet (if they still do have them).

30 days: day twentythree

day twentythree – a picture of your favorite book

Bruxy Cavey's The End of Religion:
Encountering the Subversive Spirituality of Jesus (2007, NavPress)

Mindblowing in many ways, and very challenging and encouraging. It helped transform my view on what it meant to obey Jesus to love one another, and in my frustrations and disappointment with the Christian religion.

When Jesus reiterated God's ancient command to "love one another", it means that if we do not love it is to miss his mark of perfection. When we just want to have nothing to do with someone we don't like or someone who impinges on our own desire for a comfortable socio-spiritual life, it is sin. Even if it is acceptable by social conventions. Because we have deliberately chosen not to love that person though Jesus has done otherwise for that person by dying for him/her and blessing him/her whether he/she believes in him or not.

"Rule-based relationships encourage minimum morality. I drive a bit over 100km/h on the highway that connects my home and office. Interestingly, although the speed limit is 100km/h (62mph), I still exceed it. Still, I only exceed it by what I believe I can get away with. In the back of my mind, especially when I'm rushing to an appointment that I define as important, is the question, How fast can I really go and still be ignored by the police? I have to admit that the focus of my attention is not on loving other drivers by traveling at a safe and courteous speed but the rule of the law and just how far I can bend it. Law tends to cultivate a what-can-I-get-away-with mentality. This in turn encourages egocentric morality - living a certain way so we don't have to pay the fine or go to to jail. Law is enough to keep a society in line, but it is not enough to change the world." (p. 191,emphasis his)

And in view of the futility of law in truly loving interpersonal relationships or relationships with God:

"My Wiccan friends have a saying that sums up their code of ethics: Harm none, and do what you want. In other words, as long as your actions are not harmful to others, then you are free to act according to your own desires, whatever they may be. This sentiment is a great first step, but it isn't exactly "loving". Love is other-centered and action-oriented. According to Jesus, it isn't good enough NOT to do bad, we must look for opportunities to actively do good! We must look for opportunities to express the practical care and loving concern to others that we would want expressed to us. This is a radical reorientation of morality for many people, religious and not. To put the emphasis of one's morality on not harming anyone, as many religions do, is to help people graduate to the morality of a stone. A rock doesn't hurt anyone - it just sits there, doing nothing. But we are made to love." (pp. 188-9, emphasis his)

take my clothes

Giving away clothes in good condition! Leftovers will be donated. PLEASE! Contact me, and don't be shy about it! You're doing me a favor!

I've been giving clothes away to charities or communities in need routinely, passing clothes to friends who are going on humanitarian trips, and taking care to wear new clothes or clothes that I really like when I go on humanitarian and mission trips so that I could have them all washed, dried, and folded nicely before giving them away to the community that I'm involved with in that country. (Thank you Jing for this ingeniously wonderful idea!)

When it comes to handmedowns, I choose as much as I can to give people stuff that I think they will really like, because I really like it too.

If I like it, why am I giving it away then? That's the point, isn't it? Jesus was the one who said "it's more blessed to give than to receive".

So, trust me then you're not my garbage can, if you take my clothes you will be doing me a great favor in helping me re-evaluate my spending habits and my view on outer appearance.

Muchas gracias!!

These are just a few of the clothes that I want to give away (I think I have up to 50 over to give away). They are not the best of the lot, just clothes that I have pretty clear pictures to show. Some of my clothes are new, or seldom worn, so they never even get to be on photos.

Beads and diamante sewed onto the white band.
Black organza with black inner lining, elastic at bottom.
Firsthand worn about five times.

Floral printed cotton top, empire cut.
I wore it with a white tube underneath.
Firsthand worn thrice.

Zara TRF Lime Green 100% Cotton top, made in Turkey.
I have this top in Mandarin Orange as well.

Real vintage handmedown from my mom.
This top is almost 30 years old, but is still white! Good cotton-polyester material :D
Frills run along the top half, elastic band at bottom.

Another handmedown from my mom, originally a maternity dress.
This is over 20 years old.
Brown cotton-spandex.

Striped organza top with white inner lining and yellow crochet top.
It has a cute yellow button behind at the top.
Firsthand worn about 5 times.

Light grey 100% Cotton shirt-dress.
Excellent cotton quality.

Firsthand worn in between seldom and kind-of-regularly.

Salmon pink Empire cut top, with light brown beads sewn on the lace butterfly.
Complements tan skin tones and rosy complexions.
Firsthand worn quite regularly in the past.

30 days: day twentytwo

day twentytwo – a picture of something you wish you were better at

via weheartit

Play and sing the guitar at the same time well :) I'm getting better at it!

The True Church

Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ.
(Acts 5:42)

THE TRUE CHURCH

The place in which a church meets varies. The use of big buildings, complex organizations, involved programs, huge budgets that provide for schools, hospitals, orphanages and other social activities are only possible in financially strong unrestricted societies.



Although the Lord has blessed these activities in many places in the world, we must recognize that they are not essential to the existence of the church. In some countries these activities are forbidden by the government, while in others, the local economic situation makes them impossible. Still the church can thrive, because it is not dependent on these things. Serious problems have arisen when Christians have become confused on this point.
 


A number of years ago, for example, some Vietnamese leaders thought that their lack of funds for such things was the cause of the slow growth of Christianity there. On one occasion, the following conversation was overheard:

"Do you have communists in your part of the country?" the observer asked. "Most assuredly. They are there," the leader replied.
 
“Are they growing in numbers and influence?" he then asked. The leader hesitated momentarily, then admitted sadly, “Yes, they are growing very fast." 



“Can you show me their meeting places and schools or introduce me to their leaders?" the observer continued. "Certainly not," the leader said in disgust. "If they are known, they will be arrested." 



"You mean they are secret, without buildings or property and still they grow in number?" the observer asked in amazement. "Yes, you could say that," the leader responded. 



"Then it must be that their growing influence does not depend on such things. If they can be wrong in their beliefs and still grow without money and buildings, why do you think the church of Jesus Christ needs these things?" the man concluded.



If God provides these things, then use them for His glory. If He does not, remember that the New Testament church had none of these things, but they turned their world upside down (Acts 17:6). The early Christians did not confuse the church’s functions with methods. If they had done so, the church would have died in the bondage of Jewish legalism. The early churches were not encumbered by the presence of buildings, nor hindered by the lack of them. They met in public places, when they were permitted to do so, but when they were not, they went from house to house.

RESPONSE


I will no longer confuse the forms of the church with the biblical functions of the church.



PRAYER


Thank you Lord for those who use their homes as centers for Your worship
and declaration of the good news of Your love.


Standing Strong Through The Storm (SSTS) - A daily devotional message by SSTS author Paul Estabrooks
© 2010 Open Doors International. Used by permission

30 days: day twenty

day twenty – a picture of somewhere you’d love to travel

Somewhere up north to catch the Aurora Borealis. Either that, or a nebula maybe? Haha, looking at the picture alone makes me feel afraid, I can only watch from an extremely far distance if not I'd probably burn to death or get shocked to death.

Orion Nebula

Inside the Eagle Nebula

taken from Kitt Peak in AZ where I visited!!

"The heavens declare the glory of God,
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech,
night after night they display knowledge.
There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard,
their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the earth."

Psalm 19

30 days: day eighteen

day eighteen – a picture of your biggest insecurity

by Wodka87

I love to be alone and be quiet sometimes - couldn't find a picture for social and emotional loneliness! It's the feeling you get when you have to deal with someone yourself, especially with conflicts or awkwardness in friendships. People can give you advice, but they cannot replace you to work out a friendship with someone else that's gone awry.

It's a constant reminder for me that while it's an inevitable fact no one else can help me deal with such problems, Jesus can..and he already has. I have experienced his incredible help a few times in recent years though they were pretty traumatic and nerve-wrecking as well. Sometimes I forget that he will never bail out on me from these experiences.

The really good assurance is that my loneliness will never be spiritual again from the day I started denying my old revolting self to follow Jesus..

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Word of God to the Hebrews in the 1st century
in the Bible (Hebrews 4)

30 days: day seventeen

day seventeen – a picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

This is really recent, i.e. this morning. I was thinking about Narayanan Krishnan's words. He said he was really disturbed after seeing a poor homeless man on the street eat his own waste out of hunger.

While chomping on my ordinary sandwich, it really hit me that I have DONE NOTHING to deserve whatever I have been eating and will continue to eat. Why am I not the one who is so overcome by hunger that I would actually consider eating my own poop?

After feeling really disturbed and troubled, I am really sure that God has not given me food for nothing when he's let me know that there are others who eat things that are probably not even proper food, eg: rats and tree roots in parts of Africa, rats and tree bark in parts of North Korea, or rotting food in the garbage dumps in Port-au-Prince and Manila.

When I look at my food or drink, I see that it is Jesus' flesh and blood sacrificed on my behalf, just as Jesus intended us to as a vital and daily means to remember him. The way we cook our food (slicing into nice pieces, cooking under great heat and pressure...) reminds me of the intense pain Jesus went through. I can't imagine myself being a carrot, or a piece of juicy meat under all that ticklish and stinky marination, and excruciating cutting and cooking, only to end up being eaten. The food that I eat gives me energy to live the hope that transcends above mortality and remember Jesus' humiliating and offensive sacrifice as an innocent person taking the rap of the world of today, yesterday and the future, and then coming back to life to shatter whatever chains of ugly evil we have in our hearts.

If you think I'm crazy, it's understandable. I believe that I will come back to life to live for eternity after I die, and I believe the same for all who believe in Jesus, dating from the first humans to exist on earth. We will have new bodies, and the whole of our world (universe?) would be re-created in a spiritual and physical way (I have no idea how something spiritual will look like).

And now when I look at my food, I see all that, and also that there is a divine reason behind why I am materially rich - so that I can remember the poor, and live a life of hopefully increasing compassion.

30 days: day sixteen

day sixteen – a picture of someone who inspires you

Shane Claiborne
from Jeff Figearo's blog

I quoted him last month at length from an extremely challenging and encouraging book he wrote. You have got to check out his Letter to Non-Believers published on Esquire.com, I think it articulates very well a third way between Christianity and non-Christianity. Shane has reminded me what it means when Jesus says we can find him among the poor, downtrodden, and imprisoned. He lives a life that is socially and economically responsible, which led him to start making clothes for himself. He has a heart of courage to step out of his world and start sleeping with the homeless and now he lives in West Philly, a Black ghetto that I lived right next to for a month in 2009. Almost every night you would hear the police siren, and a few gun shots and quarrels.

Such a man is so charming, and I know that the person that I'm attracted to is not Shane, but the Jesus in him. In his The Irresistible Revolution, he wrote that it is important to grief and let your heart be troubled, for only grieving prophets know how to change the world, and how to dance hope into broken lives. And don't be afraid to use creative ways to get your voice heard, just as how the prophets in the Bible did. Sometimes people thought these prophets were crazy and ridiculed, sometimes murdering them even to shut them up since they kept preaching the truth that the people didn't want to hear.

Funny how I was thinking this morning about people who inspire me (though I didn't know it was today's 30day topic!). I'm glad I have many people who inspire me, many of them ordinary people, while others make their voices heard so that they can champion their convictions. The most recent one is India's Narayanan Krishnan, which got me thinking...could true wealth and freedom really mean only having two shirts, and then giving one away to someone who needs it? I get a little ecstatic thinking about it!

May we begin beating our swords into plowshares now, and the kingdom will begin to be not simply something we hope for when we die but something we see on earth as it is in heaven, the kingdom that is among us and within us.

- Shane Claiborne

30 days: day fifteen

day fifteen – a picture of something you want to do before you die

I want to write at least one very good song. Very good probably along the lines of music, words, the power of the words, but I have a hunch it will be something intensely personal that whittles your heart away. Don't know!

Few other things on my growing Bucket List:

Finish an entire Balut!

Hike the whole of Grand Canyon again
Maybe get inked on my arm or ankle area
Eat ice cream at near- or subzero temperature
Change our world.
Live somewhere else.
Write many poems or songs.
Sing and play the guitar at the same time well.
Have a cat at home.

Some things that I've struck off my list:

Give free hugs on the street.
Be Gary the snail on the road.
Stick my finger into my nose for pictures.
Ask my family for forgiveness on being a badass in the past.
Feed stray cats.
Save animals and bugs.
Open a Youtube channel.
Get a menial F&B job.

30 days: day fourteen

day fourteen – a picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Me, Esther, and Dad
Checking out Doulos, 2009

Dad, Esther, and Mom

Well I guess quite practically I wouldn't be here without my dad (and my mom) haha. And on top of that, I wouldn't be able to imagine growing up without a dad as patient, supportive and trusting as my dad. In many ways, I'm a copy of him - for one, we start talking louder and paraphrasing things on tv even though the subtitles are there when we're excited hahaha. He is a macro-thinker and is very wise in dealing with tacky situations with people.

I didn't realize how super cool it was until last year that my dad was actually in daily contact with South Asian construction workers for a long time. He was considered quite an insider and he was respected and trusted, perhaps especially from some of few severe wounds he got from working overtime with them. He could have gone home since he just needed to oversee the workers, but he usually, if not always, chooses to stay back and work with the workers so that the job gets done faster and the workers could go home earlier. Now he doesn't work in the construction industry anymore - if he did, I don't know how his body could take the fierce sun and the intensely rigorous work he tolerated in his younger days.

Where do you get such noble men? Noble men who did extra work on a regular basis to help people that are conventionally seen as lowly foreigners? I have one at home, and I'm proud of my dad for being so :)

P.S.: Did you know that the MV Doulos (now MV Doulos Phos) was the world's oldest active passenger ship until December 31, 2009? Its sister ship was Titanic. People used to boast that "not even God could sink Titanic", and an engineer who helped repair Doulos on a daily basis (!!!) with his team is very convinced that only God could have kept her afloat.

And a few crew members have died during a bomb attack of the ship by a militant Muslim group. Scary world we live in.

30 days: day thirteen

day thirteen – a picture of your favorite band or artist

萧敬腾 Hsiao Jing Teng

It's much harder for me to pick just one favorite for English music, but Hsiao Jing Teng is definitely my favorite Chinese music singer. His voice is so diverse, and I think it's easy to hear the musical influences that he claimed in his voice - Bon Jovi, and Pavarotti. He's native to Taiwan coming from from an urban tribe of the Amis people. He taught himself how to play keys, piano, drums, guitar, and the sax. He's only a year older than me and he's still in college, except with an incredible voice that's very raw, powerful, and versatile for rock, jazz, R&B, pop. So much potential in this guy!

30 days: day twelve

day twelve – a picture of something you love

Cats!! They are incredibly cute and funny. And they melt and purr over you cos they love getting cuddled so much :3

30 days: day eleven

day eleven – a picture of something you hate

I used to cringe even at dry hair, but thankfully I'm over that mostly. Wet hair on the floor or sinks still makes me cringe though. Looking just at this shutterstock photo gives me chills. OH YUCKKKK!!!!!! I know it ultimately is hair that was on my head, but fallen hair is just different. It is disgusting! Same goes for hair that gets stuck on my wet hands when I comb my fingers through my hair :(

30 days: day ten

day ten – a picture of the person you do the most effed up things with

Hahaha too cute!

When smiling with your upper lip tucked in was fashionable
...for ten days while we were in Malaysia

Nothing new, it's still my sis. One of us could be using the toilet, and the other washing hands or brushing teeth in the same bathroom. We like to hug in public and she still owes me 50 goodnight kisses as of three minutes ago. She accumulated her debt from my 6-month absence away from home, and just rushing to bed before I can demand to her for payback kisses ;) And many more!

30 days: day nine

day nine – a picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

My mom :)

She has an incredibly tender heart full of compassion and is very sensitive and thoughtful of others. She connects with people through emotions; she also has a lot of empathy, which means that she often cares about people whom she's seen only once, but seem to be having a hard time. She has had a rough life, coming to Singapore to work when she was 21 and settled here for good when she met my dad, and entered into a family that beat down extreme prejudice on her for years. She is one tough person inside her heart.

I have been angry and arrogant for most of my life, and I see it happening less and less since Jesus has started to change my life. I hope that I will exercise humility and love in my heart every day though I believe pride will continue to be a daily thought to murder. My mom has been putting through all the nonsense and heartbreak I've given to her through my rebel stage from when I was 10 through 20, and hopefully much less now. I hope I bring comfort to her!

So..guess whom God gave my intuition and compassion from. Not to mention she was THE pretty girl at her workplace and dorm so many guys would want to drive her out and get to know her ;)

30 days: day eight

day eight - a picture that makes you laugh

Well I guess it has got to be this superbly stunning picture that I took of myself. Mega-zoomed and blurry..brings the mastery of photography to a unprecedented, whole new level!

Please check out my current growing portfolio. As you can see, there are quite a lot of (unknowing, albeit willing) models who have volunteered for this pioneering technique of artistry.

Jonny

Alvin

I do have a female subject as well, it's just that I cannot find the photo!! Anyways, look at how this new technique has taken the world by storm. People are returning me the favor for coming up this technique that they have used me as their primary model for their own portfolios.

The world is indeed a good place.

Taken by Jonny

Taken by my sis, Esther

30 days: day seven

day seven – a picture of your most treasured item

My most treasured item right now is no longer with me. But I guess my second most treasured would be my/my sister's baby bolster :D

No picture cos you'll have to see it in person to know the awesomeness :)

30 days: day six

day six – a picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day

Kina Grannis!

She's pretty, has a good heart and a soulful voice, not to mention...we're just as tall :p And running away to stairwells to sing and play music...I think it actually takes quite some courage to do that because anyone getting in would hear the music too :)

30 days: day five

day five – a picture of your favorite memory

Haowei, Jon, Me, Teewei, Raymond, and Cat,
on my goodbye party at Jon's house in Tucson where we met every Friday with everyone

One of my favorite memories is my time spent with Jon Heine, my first discipler, while I was on a semester's exchange to U of A in Spring 2009. God used him to change my life a great deal, and I still remember the times we had together. He treated me like a father treats a daughter, and as a brother who protects her sister, and as a friend - all these would only be possible within God's love. God used his prayers and his phone calls to protect me when I felt really helpless and my safety was threatened while being alone in a foreign city. God used him to bring my secret sins to light, and in Jesus' name I cut them off and I no longer am controlled by these sins.

If anything, Jon probably saw the most of my tears and thoughts while I was there. Second to Jesus. He would hold my hand and give me a safe hug like a father would. I am so excited that we will live together for ever in the coming Kingdom with Christ!

30 days: day four

day four – a picture of your favourite night

Courtesy of Hengyi Kiew.

Courtesy of Sihua Lai.

Courtesy of Sherlyn Chan.

Courtesy of Deborah Yap.

Nope, none of my friends posed for these posters. I just dug these out of Facebook from past hangouts with my friends, and used them as posters for the party. My friends were so nice to let me use their photos for it too!

One of my most favorite nights was at The Absent Party. It was held in place of my 21st birthday in 2009, and God gave me an idea 6 months before that instead of getting expensive birthday presents that I would probably have to find a use for, people who come to my party might as well pay the money forward to the Dalits in India through OM India, a ministry in India that wants to set free people from spiritual and socioeconomic oppression. You can read more about it here and my post-party thoughts here.

One of my most favorite group of people in my life, my JC class AA3!
I still remember they made time and even provided transport
and a place to bake party favors (we made chocolate cake pops). Yeaaaaa.