Someone recently apologized to me for the seeming "unfriendliness" of this group of believers (of many years) towards a new and special person in my life. I've been thinking about his apology until now, so I should purge it out because I know if I keep thinking about it, I can potentially become bitter and bear grudges in my heart like I used to when I was disheartened by why self-professed believers in typical churches were not interested or not pursuing Christ in their actions.
First, I will be "patient, bearing one another in love" (Ephesians 4:2), just as Jon, Christy, PC, Christina, Shangyang, and the ISF has beared with my previous religious arrogance. And I know God will change them throughout their time here just like he's changing me and he won't give up if we remain in him (John 15:5, Philippians 1:6). If I know he has changed me for so much good, I know he will do it for them too!
Second, I want to be an example of Jesus' radical love, just as the ISF has for me. God loves all of us already in our despicable and disgusting state before some of us started following Jesus. His love is pro-active and I want to be one of his tools through which people experience Jesus' love, so that they will in turn love others to greater extents. "This is what God does. He gives his best — the sun to warm and the rain to nourish — to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that." (Matthew 5:45-47)
Barely the real beauty
Some of the beauty I've enjoyed this year:
Sunset at Green Valley, AZ. With the Laos and ISF for spring break; Mar 13-15, 2009.
Walking into campus for the first time; Jan 6, 2009.
The streets of NYC; Dec 25, 2008
Side-gate of La Vita House when I cycle home along 2nd Ave.
Riverbank of the Colorado River down South Kaibab Trail, Grand Canyon; Mar 18, 2009.
Driveway of Church of the Red Rocks, Sedona, AZ; Mar 17, 2009.
My favorite flower: Mexican Bird of Paradise
Pinkberry: Green Tea/Plain with mochi, Graham cracker, and blueberries
Sunset at Green Valley, AZ. With the Laos and ISF for spring break; Mar 13-15, 2009.
Walking into campus for the first time; Jan 6, 2009.
The streets of NYC; Dec 25, 2008
Side-gate of La Vita House when I cycle home along 2nd Ave.
Riverbank of the Colorado River down South Kaibab Trail, Grand Canyon; Mar 18, 2009.
Driveway of Church of the Red Rocks, Sedona, AZ; Mar 17, 2009.
My favorite flower: Mexican Bird of Paradise
Pinkberry: Green Tea/Plain with mochi, Graham cracker, and blueberries
Why I love Southern Gospel
"For much too long the Church has been an underdog to the feat of men. God's building a Church on the rise. We've been trampled on in the heat of the fight. This Church has got eternal bright; it's almost time for the Church to fly.
And I'm so glad that God's building a Church. It's gonna march like a mighty army. It'll be water to the dry and barren land. It's gonna rise from a valley of dead dry bones: sanctified, glorified, filled with the holy ghost’s power and might, purified with fire divine.
On Calvary's tree it started there - he handed it down to the hands of men. God's building a Church on the rise and I like this - Satan's about to run in fright as the saints of God in glorious might. We raced across the enemy lines with holy banners waving high. God's building a Church!"
God's Building a Church, Gold City
They tell personal stories - stories we can all relate to, and because they are personal, they really show God's power and love through a myriad of individual voices. I love stories, so I guess that's why I really love Southern Gospel music (not to mention the power vocals and awesome music!).
On another note, thanks for giving to the Dalits. It's so great that God honors all our efforts while protecting our imperfect and ultimately still sinful acts with his mercy. There were times when I was getting annoyed inside because some people were trying to get me to do stuff while we were singing in front - I couldn't stop singing and leave, but they were telling me to for something important but not urgent. And I started snapping at my parents and Spencer for taking away my phone and I needed to get people to fix stuff etc (note "started" because that was just the tip of the iceberg of how mean I treat my family when left to my own devices aka. pride).
IT WAS UGLY in God's eyes. I was running this party in Jesus' name, and I was just blaspheming his name. Everyone I talked to said I was antsy and irritable; I was also much more patient to Si and JT than my family, whom I felt were culture bumpkins (screwed-up opinion) for not being as socially familiar with parties our style (fact). I wasn't at all what God's love calls me to be: gracious and patient towards EVERYONE. I stopped agreeing with him how much unsurpassable value he sees in EVERYONE so that Jesus also died for them as well as me. What's the point of only loving those people who are good to me (Matthew 5:43-48)? It'd be more like peer pleasure driven by selfish motivations to stroke my own ego. I don't know about you, but that sounds perverse to me, but so true. Jon (Heine) uses the word "monster", so I guess you haven't seen the more appalling descriptions yet! :P The irony was, the party was calling for compassion and human dignity and equality for people whom Hindus treat as being of lesser value than snakes and dogs.
And halfway through the party, I really felt the irony: if God is in charge, why am I worrying unnecessarily? I thought like that towards my friends who are detail-driven people, since I'm a big-picture person and I was sure things would turn out fine. But that thought turned on me - praise the Lord for that! When I loosened up, God showed me that there were friends who want to help. And God taught me to be gracious and patient. I really enjoyed myself and so did everyone (? most people? :x). I think God's Spirit was working in many hearts. And I know this is the start of compassion for many people who chipped in amounts relatively significant to themselves - because Jesus said our heart is where our money is (Matthew 6:19-21).
And as a believer living forward, I think my biggest lessons are still going to be LOVE, and HUMILITY. For all you know, I could be someone who talks a lot about Jesus but my personal relationship with him could be dying by the day until it becomes non-existent.
And I'm so glad that God's building a Church. It's gonna march like a mighty army. It'll be water to the dry and barren land. It's gonna rise from a valley of dead dry bones: sanctified, glorified, filled with the holy ghost’s power and might, purified with fire divine.
On Calvary's tree it started there - he handed it down to the hands of men. God's building a Church on the rise and I like this - Satan's about to run in fright as the saints of God in glorious might. We raced across the enemy lines with holy banners waving high. God's building a Church!"
God's Building a Church, Gold City
They tell personal stories - stories we can all relate to, and because they are personal, they really show God's power and love through a myriad of individual voices. I love stories, so I guess that's why I really love Southern Gospel music (not to mention the power vocals and awesome music!).
On another note, thanks for giving to the Dalits. It's so great that God honors all our efforts while protecting our imperfect and ultimately still sinful acts with his mercy. There were times when I was getting annoyed inside because some people were trying to get me to do stuff while we were singing in front - I couldn't stop singing and leave, but they were telling me to for something important but not urgent. And I started snapping at my parents and Spencer for taking away my phone and I needed to get people to fix stuff etc (note "started" because that was just the tip of the iceberg of how mean I treat my family when left to my own devices aka. pride).
IT WAS UGLY in God's eyes. I was running this party in Jesus' name, and I was just blaspheming his name. Everyone I talked to said I was antsy and irritable; I was also much more patient to Si and JT than my family, whom I felt were culture bumpkins (screwed-up opinion) for not being as socially familiar with parties our style (fact). I wasn't at all what God's love calls me to be: gracious and patient towards EVERYONE. I stopped agreeing with him how much unsurpassable value he sees in EVERYONE so that Jesus also died for them as well as me. What's the point of only loving those people who are good to me (Matthew 5:43-48)? It'd be more like peer pleasure driven by selfish motivations to stroke my own ego. I don't know about you, but that sounds perverse to me, but so true. Jon (Heine) uses the word "monster", so I guess you haven't seen the more appalling descriptions yet! :P The irony was, the party was calling for compassion and human dignity and equality for people whom Hindus treat as being of lesser value than snakes and dogs.
And halfway through the party, I really felt the irony: if God is in charge, why am I worrying unnecessarily? I thought like that towards my friends who are detail-driven people, since I'm a big-picture person and I was sure things would turn out fine. But that thought turned on me - praise the Lord for that! When I loosened up, God showed me that there were friends who want to help. And God taught me to be gracious and patient. I really enjoyed myself and so did everyone (? most people? :x). I think God's Spirit was working in many hearts. And I know this is the start of compassion for many people who chipped in amounts relatively significant to themselves - because Jesus said our heart is where our money is (Matthew 6:19-21).
And as a believer living forward, I think my biggest lessons are still going to be LOVE, and HUMILITY. For all you know, I could be someone who talks a lot about Jesus but my personal relationship with him could be dying by the day until it becomes non-existent.
Hola!
- Daphne Tan
- Singapore
- One day, I want to lie down on the grass under a beautiful blue sky with ten thousand cats.
I'm reading
